A Hot Valentine

I just overheard a conversation about what girls want for Valentine's day. Here's my two cents. The best Valentine's day present for your girlfriend is not flowers or a box of chocolates or a teddy bear that says "I love you" when you squeeze its belly. The best present for Valentine is also not that expensive watch or perfume. Not even a cruise to Italy (we all know how these end…).

What you should get your girlfriend this V day is pepper spray!

Yes, you read that right.

We live in a dangerous world and someone somewhere is getting killed, raped, robbed every minute of the day. Chances are something like it is happening somewhere close to you. People are getting assaulted on the streets, at home, at work, heck even in bathroom stalls.

Do not let your girlfriend be the next victim. Act now! SHOW her you care this V day with some pepper spray, and be sure to also TELL her you care, in words, while batting your eyes. Guaranteed to melt her heart because just one spray, keeps the bad guy away!

TERMS AND CONDITIONS:

Valid not only for girlfriends but anyone you want to never see hurt. Highly applicable also for moms, sisters, girl friends, girl cousins but restrictions apply. It is recommended that you stay within the female gender when giving pepper spray as a present. If you are a daring soul you can attempt to give pepper spray to your male buddies, accompanied by a corny speech about how much they mean to you, however I assume no responsibility for the ridiculing that will follow you for the rest of your life. Effective only for non-gold diggers. Excellence points awarded if you volunteer to test the pepper spray on yourself to make sure it works before you give it as a present! Magnificence points if you can find a pepper spray shaped like a heart.

From popular demand (a.k.a 1 person) this post is now in video format! You can watch it below.

Until next time,
A.M.D
       Got feedback? Click comments